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Week one: Albanese seeks to build Hawke-like consensus
Anthony Albanese’s first phone calls as prime minister reveal a man keen to rebuild the parliament and implement an ambitious agenda.
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“Welcome to the first meeting of the new resistance.”
The Sky News host emotionally declares himself a rebel leader following Scott Morrison’s defeat. His show has always felt like an impotence commercial and now it’s stopped pretending to be anything else.
Succession
“He doesn’t seem to listen. He’s extremely conservative. I actually don’t think he’s that smart.”
The West Australian premier offers his view of Peter Dutton, who is favoured to become the next federal opposition leader. Party officials are busy fitting the member for Dickson with eyelashes and working out what to do with his tail.
Bigotry
“Full disclosure: in real life, of course, I support trans rights.”
The comic opens his Netflix special with a string of slurs against trans women. A man who laboured for years under the misapprehension that he invented atheism is now as one with the Catholic Church.
Parties
“There was excessive alcohol consumption … One individual was sick.”
The senior British civil servant releases her final report into lockdown parties at 10 Downing Street. Prime Minister Boris Johnson says he takes “full responsibility”, which presumably means sending money on birthdays and seeking an injunction to deny paternity.
Colleagues
“Josh, I can’t just call a friend – I can refer to him as a brother. Josh and I have a deep and abiding friendship.”
The former prime minister acknowledges his defeated treasurer during a concession speech. Only family would talk that much about trans athletes at lunch.
Guns
“This isn’t inevitable. These kids weren’t ‘unlucky’. This only happens in this country, and nowhere else.”
The Democrat demands gun reform on the floor of the United States senate, a day after his country’s second deadliest school shooting. No joke for this one, only sadness.