News in five.
1. Covid long haul for Sydney
The Sydney lockdown is set to be extended by four weeks today with concessions including a singles bubble, as Victoria and SA lift stay-at-home orders.
2. China turns off tap for wine exporters
Australia will no longer be able to export wine into China as a result of tariffs imposed by Beijing, according to federal government forecasts.
3. Crown pays back the house
Crown has announced it will pay $61m to the Victorian Commission for Gambling and Liquor Regulation for unpaid taxes.
4. Booze on ice in Antarctic
Alcohol consumption at Australia’s Antarctic stations will be almost halved, as part of a bid to improve health and safety and make the facilities more female-friendly.
5. Astronomers look for intelligent life
An international team of scientists led by a controversial Harvard astronomer have announced a new project to look for evidence of technology built by extraterrestrial civilisations.
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Politics
“I was used as a prop to push something that to be honest they haven’t done the due diligence on to make sure it’s actually getting to the people that need it.”
The singer expresses his distress at being used to launch belated support for the arts. The man who became an AirAsia brand ambassador at the same time as the airline was being investigated for safety breaches knows where to draw the line.
Olympics
“You are going to the opening ceremony. I’m still the deputy chair of the candidature leadership group.”
The Australian Olympic Committee president uses a press conference to bully Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk into the opening ceremony. He was worried she might miss “traditional parts” such as “ladies bring a plate”.
Music
“I wish to say that I will not perform on any stage where there is a discriminated audience present.”
The guitarist announces he will not perform at any venues that require attendees to prove they’ve been vaccinated against Covid-19. He used up all his care for human life on that one song about his son falling out a window.
Space
“I want to thank every Amazon employee, and every Amazon customer, because you guys paid for all of this.”
The richest man in the world thanks his underpaid staff after returning from a brief journey into space. He experienced a few moments of weightlessness before being confronted again by his soul.
Security
“Our spies are your neighbours and friends and members of your community. They are carers, parents, grandparents and community volunteers.”
The director-general of the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation launches a recruitment drive for the spy agency. He also unfortunately describes the worst of the Stasi.
Apologies
“No country gets everything right; no prime minister gets everything right as well. So, my job is to keep getting on with the job.”
The prime minister says he is “sorry” about the vaccine rollout, after spending most of the week refusing to do so. For a man who says “job” that often, he hasn’t looked very far into what the work entails.
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