“Yes, well, the Christmas tree incident has rather introduced a tension of sorts into the family, but I think when we objectively look at the evidence leading up to it, it is clear that Daniel provoked me. Why give me socks with strawberries on them when …”

“I usually bought warm, sturdy jackets that I imagined railroad workers would’ve worn in the ’40s. The new jacket wasn’t sturdy and it wasn’t warm. It was made out of pale blue, faux-crocodile print vinyl. It was so blue that you could sort of …”