diary May 8, 2021
If there’s one thing our prime minister loves at the same level that he loves Pentecostal evangelism, it’s Indian food. In fact, I might even wager Scott Morrison loves a curry more than he loves Jesus, given how much more he talks about curries. Over the years, he’s found more uses for curry than MacGyver would have, from an image softener on LinkedIn to a metaphor for multiculturalism in a speech to the armed forces. The man’s never met a pinch of garam masala that he didn’t love.
diary May 1, 2021
It has long been believed that when God speaks, it is only to prophets, poets and madmen. Now we can add Australian prime ministers to that list. While attending the Australian Christian Churches conference on the Gold Coast last week, Scott Morrison revealed that he and Jenny have been called upon to do God’s work.
diary April 24, 2021
Not since John Travolta asked to try the $5 milkshake Uma Thurman ordered at Jack Rabbit Slim’s has anyone cared so much about the cost of a milkshake. But it turns out that prices have gone up a bit since 1994. Now, if you want a milkshake to bring all the boys to your yard, you’d better be willing to spend upwards of $3.7 million. At least that’s what the Australian government paid for a series of educational videos around consent, which somehow involves milkshakes, and tacos.
diary April 17, 2021
Defence Minister Peter Dutton occupies a hallowed place in the culture wars. This is the man who once valiantly decried “cancel culture” and criticised Netflix for removing shows that had racially offensive content by saying “I just don’t think makes any sense”. But it seems the Defence minister has changed his tune on free speech, allegedly issuing defamation threats to some Twitter users.
diary April 10, 2021
Sometimes, finding a job requires overcoming biases you didn’t even know stood in the way of your gainful employment. Having a non-Anglo name has been shown in repeated studies to hurt one’s chances. Sometimes it can be as simple as being the wrong skin colour. But nothing is more damning, it seems, than being a former prime minister.
diary April 3, 2021
Until now, the rarely seen but oft-referenced Jenny Morrison was considered the grand vizier behind the prime minister on all issues related to women. Reports suggest she spent her time guiding Scott Morrison away from the rocky outcroppings of misogyny and towards the open seas of empathy, like a reverse siren. Based on recent performances by the PM, though, it’s starting to seem as though her calls are going unheard.
diary March 27, 2021
It’s hard for art world provocateurs these days, especially with all the competition from Canberra. Parliament is so shocking that the populace is evolving to be more shockproof than an old Nokia 3310. So, artists must think of more creative ways in which they can truly disturb our sensibilities. Piss Christ? Done. A self-portrait made from 10 pints of the artist’s own blood? Please, that’s so 1991. A shark preserved in formaldehyde?
diary March 27, 2021
It’s hard for art world provocateurs these days, especially with all the competition from Canberra. Parliament is so shocking that the populace is evolving to be more shockproof than an old Nokia 3310. So, artists must think of more creative ways in which they can truly disturb our sensibilities.
diary March 20, 2021
Thousands upon thousands of women marched across the nation, holding aloft placards and signs demanding change, demanding justice, demanding an end to the chronic lack of safety endemic in their lives. They asked that the government, with all its power and authority, create that change, implement that justice, forge a safer world for them. The government’s response was, at best, indifferent, and at its worst, malicious.
diary March 13, 2021
If there’s one thing white people hate more than racism, it’s being accused of racism. That racism exists is not really a point of contention. But in nine years of living in Australia, I’m yet to meet anyone who admits to being racist. It’s not that dissimilar to how one in six women experience sexual assault in Australia, but somehow almost no one ever gets arrested for it or found guilty of committing it.
diary March 6, 2021
This is how it should have gone: When allegations of a historical rape made against a cabinet minister come to light, the prime minister steps up and says he’s doing everything in his power to find out what’s alleged to have happened. The accused parliamentarian has been asked to step down until the police decide about an investigation. The prime minister demands an overhaul of the toxic culture of Canberra.