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What’s happening in Tony Abbott’s office?
Leadership tension has spilled into the Nationals, as the Coalition tries to understand the chaos in the Prime Minister’s Office.
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Quotes
HONOURS I
“Prince Philip’s long life of service and dedication should be honoured by Australia.”
The prime minister announces he will be knighting the Duke of Edinburgh. Which is kind of like giving Star Wars memorabilia to George Lucas.
SERVICE I
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
The sir duke addresses Aboriginal leader William Brin in 2002, part of his lifelong service to Australia and flatulent racism.
HONOURS II
“Abbott knighthood a joke and embarrassment. Time to scrap all honours everywhere, including UK.”
The dirty digger offers his thoughts. Especially brave for a Companion of the Order of Australia and Knight Commander of the Order of St Gregory.
SERVICE II
“Oh, no, I might catch some ghastly disease.”
His royal highness refuses to touch a koala on his 1992 visit, long before details of the species’ chlamydia problem were widely known.
HONOURS III
“In the end this is my call and I’m happy to take these things on the chin.”
The prime minister responds to what may euphemistically be called national incredulity, wishing his chin were as big as his ears.
SERVICE III
“Any bloody fool can lay a wreath at the thingummy.”
Australia’s newest knight explains to the BBC’s Jeremy Paxman his role in public life. While not necessarily inspiring, at least the statement wasn’t racist or misogynistic or otherwise bigoted.