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BHP and Rio Tinto dictate terms to the Abbott governent
Twiggy Forrest’s failed bid to reset the iron ore price inadvertently shows who really tells the Abbott government what to do.
May 23 - 29, 2015
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LAW
“He’s asked me to apologise to everyone, particularly his wife, for his behaviour.”
The Victorian defence barrister passes on a message from her client, Noel Mitchell, who was found guilty for the second time of having sex with horses. His marriage did not survive the tryst.
AGE
“We don’t discuss personal details of any of our clients.”
Rebel Wilson’s agent refuses to confirm to gossip websites that her client is not 29 but in fact a 35-year-old woman named Melanie Elizabeth Bownds. In other news Mark Twain’s real name is Samuel Langhorne Clemens and he will turn 180 this year.
TAX
“Their wives may have done it and they didn’t know.”
The treasurer explains how the wives of Mathias Cormann and Josh Frydenberg may have come to use the double-dipping parental leave schemes he had earlier called a fraud. Those tricksy women – when they’re not participating in the labour force they’re casting spells and deceiving their husbands.
CONSPIRACY
“I don’t know what the situation is, I don’t know how the courts work, but it just seems wrong.”
The shock jock outlines at least some of his limitations before calling for an inquiry into Ivan Milat’s imprisonment for the murder of seven backpackers. It was not immediately clear if he was offering his famed polygraph skills to the case.
