Letters, Poem & Editorial
Abbott policies not selling
Mike Seccombe clearly describes how we have a government that acts as if it believes “clear commitments”, delivered with enough conviction, will never be found to have been lies (“The …
Styles come and go, but some defy the odds to become long-running trends, such as the ubiquitous peplum.
Australians are heading overseas for cheap cosmetic surgery in booming numbers, despite the death of a Gold Coast woman undergoing surgery in Mexico and repeated warnings about the risks involved.
Hockeyroo Anna Flanagan on the craziness of Dutch and Argentine hockey fans.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Kevin. (Bonus point: Broken Hill.)
Far to go.
“I think the Speaker needs to explain the matter.”
The treasurer reaches new heights of understatement as he responds to the $300,000 in expenses Bronwyn Bishop accrued in the past year. Think of the taxi rides Peter Slipper could have taken with that kind of money.
“This is real Magellan, Captain Cook, Columbus stuff. How wouldn’t you be excited by this?”
The director of the Deep Space Communication Complex outside Canberra celebrates NASA’s Pluto flyby, listing all the cool adventurers he could think of who aren’t Captain Kirk.
“It may seem funny. But it is serious, too. The women are sticking their hands up their kilts.”
The owner of Hootananny in Inverness explains the pub’s trouser policy, introduced to deal with drunken patrons who wanted to see if staff were “real Scotsmen”. The remaining tests involve head-butting and Mel Gibson impersonations.
“Overwhelmingly in Australia, people were walking up off the street and … they’d say, ‘I don’t necessarily vote for you but I agree with you on this one.’ ”
The agriculture minister explains the outpouring of support he received after threatening to kill Johnny Depp’s dogs. He will now campaign exclusively on a platform of celebrity pet slaughter.
“I’m not talking Alan Jones lingo – I’ve read this thing. Baird hasn’t read it. Tony Abbott hasn’t read it.”
The shock jock berates Greg Hunt over the documentation on which the Shenhua mine was approved. He did not elaborate on what “Alan Jones lingo” might be, but we presume not using it means Optus didn’t pay for the interview.
“Our son Arthur died on Tuesday evening. He was our beautiful, happy, loving boy.”
The musician mourns his 15-year-old son, who died this week after falling from a cliff in the British town of Brighton.