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The many trials of Cardinal George Pell
As Cardinal Pell prepares for another child sex abuse hearing, his ‘company man’ style has made him enemies within the Vatican.
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PRISONS
“We will place as many crocodiles as we can there. I will search for the most ferocious type of crocodile. You can’t bribe crocodiles.”
The head of Indonesia’s anti-drug agency describes his proposal for an island prison to hold inmates on death row. Because state-sanctioned murder isn’t barbaric enough on its own.
TAX
“I’ll have to remind those Bolsheviks at The Australian.”
The prime minister responds to Cory Bernardi’s concerns that The Australian says raising the GST won’t aid growth. Turnbull was joking: they’re clearly Trotskyites.
MINING
“We are deeply sorry to everyone who has or will suffer for this terrible tragedy.”
The head of BHP apologises for the company’s part in a dam burst that has killed at least six people and displaced hundreds in Brazil. The dam held mine tailings.
UNIONS
My mother cried when I showed her my tattoo. She said to tell you, ‘Thank you for making me look so young and beautiful.’ ”
The former NSW boss of the National Union of Workers thanks a tattooist for inking his parents onto his calf, paid for with $432 of union money. Belan denies wrongdoing – and yet the potato-headed vision of his mother, resting below his right kneecap, is a crime itself.
MONARCHY
“It will come in handy to keep the flies off.”
The man who would be king accepts a sprig of peppermint gum from a Ngadjuri elder during a welcome to country. He is his father’s son, and as such our completely unelected future ruler.
POLITICS
“I find it incredulous that in what is now being described as a ‘drinks function’ was actually the final meeting in what was a coup to unseat a sitting prime minister.”
The Liberal senator worries at the attendance of Julie Bishop’s chief of staff at a meeting of anti-Abbott forces. The former publican clearly hasn’t heard of that other famous drinks function, the Beer Hall Putsch of 1923.