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SPORT
“I’ll fuck that dog. I don’t give a fuck. I don’t have a sexuality.”
The captain of the Sydney Roosters celebrates Australia Day by attempting to kiss a woman, simulating sex on her dog and then urinating on himself, which is an admittedly avant-garde re-enactment of the First Fleet entering Port Jackson.
HONOURS
“I felt really sad that they did not have the courage to go with an LGBTI person. I thought it was time.”
The transgender activist complains she was not made Australian of the Year. She called David Morrison “a weak and conventional choice” – like Patrick White in 1973, who was quite LGBTI.
TAX
“Google et al broke no tax laws. Now paying token amounts for PR purposes. Won’t work. Need strong new laws to pay like the rest of us.”
The billionaire complains about the few hundred million in British back taxes paid by Google, somewhat ignoring the pathetic amount of tax his own companies pay.
FORESTS
“In Tasmania these days, there are harsher penalties for saving a tree than for endangering a child.”
The former Greens leader reflects on being arrested at a peaceful protest to protect the Lapoinya forest from logging in North-West Tasmania. He faces five years in prison.
SCHOOLS
“Talk about innovation without a commitment to quality education is just talk.”
The opposition leader announces Labor would fund further rollout of the Gonski plan if elected. In fairness, though, pretty much everything said in opposition is “just talk”.
ART
“That artist of yours is no good. He’s made me look like a big, fat, greedy cunt.”
The then businessman allegedly upbraiding gallery owner Ray Hughes over a portrait by Lewis Miller. Hughes is said to have replied: “He is a realist painter, you know.”
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