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The failed factional campaign to unseat Bronwyn Bishop
Having seen off myriad interventions and a plan to parachute Kate Carnell into her seat, Bronwyn Bishop is not going anywhere.
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HONOURS
“This is really an award for Australia.”
The environment minister is named “Best Minister in the World” at a cereal box of a gathering called the World Government Summit. Greg’s being modest, of course: he set back climate action, degraded the barrier reef, and pandered to coalmining interests all on his own.
TRANSPORT
“Fuck, that’s risky shit.”
Chairman of the senate rural and regional affairs and transport legislation committee shares with the parliament his concerns about cross-runway landings at Melbourne Airport.
TIMEPIECES
“Ian has worn his Rolex every day since its purchase to remind himself of the hard work it took to obtain it.”
The Liberal MP celebrates his watch in a third-person press release dedicated to the purchase. Ian really likes Ian’s watch.
LAW
“The Crown’s inserted inference is a very long bow to draw.”
The barrister representing Eddie Obeid in a case over contentious cafe leases employs a defence based largely on mixed metaphor.
NIGHTLIFE
“The main complaints seem to be that you can’t drink ’til dawn anymore and you can’t impulse-buy a bottle of white after 10pm.”
The NSW premier, whose main complaint is that he gets asked for ID every time he orders a Shirley Temple, defends his lockout laws. The same tough laws that forced his predecessor to set up a black market in home-delivered Grange.
STANDARDS
“Isn’t it the case the prime minister has one choice: sack the minister, or sack your ministerial standards?”
The opposition leader weighs into the Stuart Robert imbroglio. For a man whose entire career has been based on doing numbers – ruthlessly, brutally – you would think he could count to two.