1. How many grand slam tennis singles titles has Maria Sharapova won? (Bonus point for naming how many Australian Open titles she holds.)
Five. (Bonus point: One.)
2. What is the name of the character played by Matthew Perry in Friends
3. Where in the human body are the lachrymal glands located?
4. On average, how long does it take sunlight to travel from the Sun to the Earth: (a) eight minutes and 20 seconds; (b) 80 minutes and 20 seconds; or (c) eight hours and 20 minutes?
(a) Eight minutes and 20 seconds.
5. In Vatican City, Cardinal George Pell holds the title of Prefect of the Secretariat for the … ?
6. Hoover Dam is located on which US river?
7. The song “Respect” was written and originally released by whom in 1965?
8. In which World War II battle were 18,000 Japanese and 6000 Americans killed?
9. How many lines in a sonnet?
10. English is the official language of which South American country?
“It’s very easy for me to campaign for the election of the Turnbull government because the Turnbull government is running on the Abbott government’s record and it’s a very strong record.”
The former prime minister continues his campaign of moping self-indulgence, apparently unaware that he is more relevant on the backbench than he was in the leadership.
“The bottom line is there is continuity and there is change.”
The prime minister adopts a slogan of sorts, matched only in its inanity by Morris Iemma’s 2007 pitch to return a NSW Labor government after 12 years in office: “More to do but heading in the right direction.”
“We came up with the most meaningless election slogan we could think of. Now adopted by Australian PM.”
The writer and executive producer of US sitcom Veep explains the origins of “continuity with change”. He chose it to be “hollow and oxymoronic” and say “nothing but seem to have depth”.
“He said, ‘I’m going to take it further – I’m going to find out where you live, motherfucker, and I’m going to kidnap your children.’ ”
The personal trainer complains of being threatened and intimidated by Auburn deputy mayor Salim Mehajer, who has been to more court appearances than council meetings this year. The matter was dismissed.
“If ASIO has 190 Australians on their official terrorist watch list – and have evidence of those people assisting terrorists – then why only watch them?”
The senator shows her fine understanding of the rule of law. If you can be arbitrarily elected to parliament, why not be arbitrarily arrested as well?
“We are staggered by John Cleese’s vitriol towards us and our tribute show.”
The brand director for a dinner theatre show using Fawlty Towers characters, situations and dialogue expresses her surprise that this might be wrong. But, then, all dinner theatre shows are wrong.