1. Who fronts the English rock band High Flying Birds?
2. What is the name of a type of gambling where competitors are auctioned off to the highest bidder and is also the former name of an Indian city?
3. Which teams won the men’s and women’s 2016 ICC World Twenty20 this month?
West Indies and West Indies.
4. What nationality was artist Frida Kahlo? (Bonus point for naming her painter husband.)
Mexican. (Bonus point: Diego Rivera.)
5. Who played James Bond in The Spy Who Loved Me
6. A bathometer is a device used to measure what?
7. Which Australian glossy national magazine closed last month after 44 years in print?
8. What is the chief constituent of the alloy pewter?
9. Name the stars of the television comedy The Two Ronnies
Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker.
10. If a circle’s radius is 10 centimetres, what is its diameter?
“So I was just riding the wave, minding my own business, and eventually there was this extremely attractive and very, very talented surfer on my left.”
The former prime minister explains that because of “the saltwater, or some genetic defect or whatever” he cannot see out of his left eye and sometimes drops in on 17-year-old girls before objectifying them on radio.
“Terry Smith was just, when you open a Yahoo account you normally put in a username you want to use. There’s plenty of people I’ve seen: Ferret, Dog, Rabbit…”
The miner reveals why he was using a fake name to direct operations of failed company Queensland Nickel. It makes perfect sense, if you don’t think about it.
“Sacha became an arse.”
The Queen guitarist explains parting ways with Sacha Baron Cohen, who was to play Freddie Mercury in a biopic. Mercury, who once flew a boyfriend across the world to break up with him in an airport and then stole his cat, was well known for his reasonableness.
“It’s always sad when the political debate starts becoming in the realm of litigious, the realm of the courts.”
The acting prime minister – repeat: acting prime minister – complains of a legal letter he received from Tony Windsor after suggesting Windsor sold a mine to the Chinese. Joyce would prefer the matter be settled with an old-fashioned dog slaughter.
“One has to recognise the canvas in question as a true original ... even if we do not have any tangible or irrefutable proof.”
The former museum director assesses an apparent Caravaggio found in a French attic. The front end of the sentence doesn’t entirely agree with the back end, but nor does everyone entirely agree with Spinosa.
“It is absurd that we should say that it is illegal that a person who is suffering terribly ... should be forced to continue to suffer.”
The former prime minister gives his support to voluntary assisted suicide. Paul Keating was unavailable for comment, but would presumably prefer to do him slowly.