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RACE
“I’m definitely not a racist. I’ve got friends who are Aboriginal and family who are Aboriginal.”
The Woy Woy chiropractor claims a Facebook hack led to him sending messages to Nova Peris calling her a “black cunt”. He was later charged by police.
HUNTING
“Humans have a right to eat meat if they choose to do so, it’s as simple as that.”
The NSW Legislative Council member from the Shooters, Fishers and Farmers Party confirms he ate the elephant he shot in Zimbabwe. He later confessed he did not eat all of it.
DISCOURSE
“Dear outraged, the article I linked to is interesting in light of events of last week. It doesn’t mean I endorse author’s other views.”
The Liberal senator responds to criticism after sharing an article from a “legal rape” advocate. There is no joke to add to this item.
ANIMALS
“My son fell in with the gorillas. There’s a male gorilla standing over him. I need someone to contact the zoo, please.”
The mother of a boy who fell into a gorilla enclosure at Cincinnati Zoo calls police. Zoo officials later shot the silverback that picked up the boy. Gregg posted on Facebook that society was too “quick to judge how a parent could take their eyes off of their child”.
EDUCATION
“Mark is ready, willing and able to bring the fruits of his immense experience to the benefit of the entire NSW community.”
The NSW premier appoints Mark Scott as education department head. The former ABC managing director has extensive experience in children’s programming and politicised funding cuts.
SPORT
“It was a bit like losing your virginity. It wasn’t very nice but we got the job done.”
The Maroons forward celebrates the State of Origin win. As is de rigueur in rugby league, the rest of the team was there as well.
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