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SEXUALITY
“I understand the concerns Penny is raising. I know it from personal experience, having been exposed to that sort of hatred and bigotry for the views I’ve taken.”
The treasurer empathises with Penny Wong over vilification. Wong finds it harder to empathise with Morrison, because frankly there’s little room to get inside a mind that size.
GENDER
“If you’re going to want to be treated equally, the point is, don’t complain when it’s too equal.”
The Footy Show host dismisses journalist Caroline Wilson’s displeasure at suggestions she be drowned for entertainment. He remains committed to the idea that there are degrees of “equal”.
TRADE
“The world is looking for protein … If it walks, if it isn’t human, somebody around the world wants to eat it.’’
The deputy prime minister explains why tighter foreign investment laws won’t limit demand. No matter what he says, it always seems as though he’s talking about Johnny Depp’s dogs.
SPORT I
“We made a mistake in permitting the Olympic torch, a symbol of peace and unity, to be exhibited alongside a chained wild animal.”
The Rio 2016 organising committee apologises for a torch ceremony that ended with a soldier shooting a jaguar. There does seem undue blame on the torch and the chained animal.
MUSIC
“I don’t have a recollection of almost anyone I’ve hung out with.”
The Led Zeppelin singer explains that he can’t remember meeting the band from whom he and guitarist Jimmy Page are meant to have cribbed the opening bars of “Stairway to Heaven”. Unfortunately, every tone-deaf 10-year-old ever to pick up a guitar is intent on half remembering the bars for him.
SPORT II
“Does not fit into any framework of civilised behaviour.”
The Russian president complains about his country’s Olympic ban for doping offences. In fairness, he said this before he heard they shot a jaguar.
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