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DETENTION
“Certainly some have made false allegations in an attempt to get to Australia.”
The immigration minister dismisses as “hype” the log of thousands of abuse claims made on Nauru. Other useful words are “appalling” and “unconscionable” and “you’ve been sacked from your ministry for gross negligence”.
POLITICS
“In many respects, you know, they honour President Obama. He’s the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder. He founded ISIS.”
The Republican presidential candidate suggests Barack Obama started Daesh. We are now precisely three days from him declaring 9/11 was an inside job.
DATA
“Which heads roll, where and when, will be determined once the review is complete.”
The prime minister promises to punish someone for the shambles of Tuesday’s census. The head of the bureau of statistics is meanwhile desperately trying to get his name off the documents.
WATER
“We were expecting the pool to be blue again in the morning.”
The Rio organising committee spokesman explains why that the Olympic diving pool turned vivid green, blaming an unexpected number of athletes jumping into it.
MEDIA
“I think Four Corners should be ashamed of what they’ve done.”
The Northern Territory’s outgoing chief minister criticises the ABC for airing evidence of child abuse so close to an election. The shirtless little boy with a bag tied over his head could have stayed strapped in that chair for a few more weeks.
SPORT
“It was very good.”
The Adelaide-born 18-year-old celebrates winning gold in the 100-metre freestyle at the Rio Olympics. He is the first Australian to win the event since 1968.
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