1. Who was monarch of England when Captain Cook landed on Australian shores?
2. Nay Pyi Taw is the administrative capital of which Asian nation?
3. What is the full name of the CFMEU?
The Construction, Forestry, Mining and Energy Union.
4. Which city is further north: San Francisco or Rome?
5. A Cuba libre cocktail contains what sort of alcohol?
6. Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams and Kyle Chandler star in the film … by the Sea
7. The first F1 grand prix of the 2017 season will be held in which country?
8. Who followed Meg Lees as leader of the Australian Democrats? (Bonus points for naming who preceded Lees and the party’s founding leader.)
Natasha Stott Despoja. (Bonus points: Cheryl Kernot and Don Chipp.)
9. Which company recently announced it would return ownership of Vegemite to Australian hands?
10. Who is the new United States secretary of state?
“Fuck, that’s a lot of money.”
The property developer allegedly responds to allegedly being told it would cost $300,000 plus expenses to have business partner Michael McGurk killed. Apparently crime both pays and covers incidentals.
“Australia is not a nation that attacks successful people.”
The minister for health chastises the Labor Party for one sin or another. Presented without comment are two names at random: Gillian Triggs and Justin Gleeson.
“These are women too lazy to attract and hold a mate, undoing the work of possibly three million years of evolutionary pressure.”
The One Nation candidate argues against support for single mothers. The greater shock, however, is the revelation he is not a creationist.
“We have been blessed two times over.”
America’s queen announces she is expecting twins. Which is the only genuine promise made to the US labour market since Trump won the presidency.
“My interest is in results. I am not a political hack.”
The prime minister voices his support for more coal-fired power stations. Speaking of political hacks, here’s Malcolm Turnbull in 2009: “It is not possible to criticise the new Coalition policy on climate change because it does not exist.”
“We would much rather be doing other things, but unfortunately this was what was required of us.”
The acting police commander talks about forcibly removing homeless people from the streets of Melbourne. Other things might include, I don’t know, outreach services and funding for mental health.