“I’m still trying to work out what winning the war in Iraq is now. As soon as we actually defeat ISIS you’ll be back into the sectarian divide and the internal fight. ”
As Australia considers extending its presence in Afghanistan, key figures have split over what has been achieved in the Middle East.
“During the day, the boozers are full of UKIP supporters ... I hope the Tories know they’re relying on people who don’t work.”
The depressed English seaside town of Margate was the epicentre of Nigel Farage’s pitch to those left behind by globalisation. But it’s now Theresa May they’re counting on to deliver UKIP’s platform.
“A maritime boundary fixed according to the best geological and legal principles would be an investment in Australia’s relationships with its region. In the short term, it would be a huge boost for the increasingly embattled secular-nationalist government of President Joko Widodo, who has made control and development of the archipelago state’s maritime zones a hallmark policy.”
“Morrison’s sales pitch still looks like it is coming from a government at war with its own past convictions. There is something dissonant about a Liberal treasurer talking about the banks “fleecing their customers”. He is, after all, a treasurer who still argues against the need to hold a royal commission into the economic power of the banks and their use or abuse of it.”
It’s incredibly heartwarming to see Flag-Pin Morrison muscling up in the wake of the alleged tax fraud arrests. “Those who think they can defraud Australian taxpayers – today’s events show that they have another thing coming,” the treasurer said, without being too fussed about pre-trial prejudice.
Letters, Poem & Editorial
Business without conscience
Having read Michael West’s “Getting down to farce tax” (May 13-19) I would like to bring into question the concept of corporate and individual ethics. How can these businesses and individuals …
After years of juggling a day job and creative aspirations, actor and photographer Benjamin Rigby has a breakout role in blockbuster Alien: Covenant. So will previously closed doors begin to open?
“Walking up to Frances Devlin-Glass’s front door, there’s the smell of wet earth and the rot of autumn leaves. My breath is visible in the cold morning air and the smell is not unpleasant. When Devlin-Glass opens the door and says hello, I’m surprised she has an Australian accent.”
“The dehydrated beetroot in this salad is an attempt to achieve a chewy, gummy bear-like texture. I don’t own a dehydrator at home, so I turn my oven down really low and put the beetroot in for the afternoon. This does more than alter the texture: it also concentrates the flavour.”
The cold of late autumn can make it difficult to tend neglected gardens, but a fortifying nip can get you out improving the soil and installing seedlings.
While post-traumatic stress disorder is widely acknowledged, much less attention is paid to its counterpart, post-traumatic growth –where people can find their lives transformed for the better after terrible events.
Meryl Streep, Jessica Lange, Cate Blanchett. (Bonus point: Viola Davis.)
They stop bleeding by clumping and clotting blood vessel injuries.
Birmingham Airport, England.
“He who pays the piper calls the tune. I just love women. It’s been one of my great downfalls in life.”
The broadcaster defends his edict that all female staff wear skirts. His other great downfall is that a lifetime of gargling Valvoline and misogynistic entitlement has made him a complete shithead.
“No politician in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.”
The US president complains of his treatment by the media. It is possible – just possible – that no other politician has been worse or more unfair.
“I’m just a pawn in her hands ... I live a frugal life.”
The former politician tells a court that his wife is responsible for his financial dealings. Nothing says frugal like allegedly siphoning money out of a mining company to fund a political party that bears your name while you plan to build a replica Titanic from the villa of your own dinosaur park.
“Most people don’t listen anyway.”
The Dutch royal explains that for 21 years he has lived a double life co-piloting commercial flights, but no one has recognised his voice on in-flight announcements. The revelation comes just as Prince Philip’s secret double life as a racist comes to an end.
“If even a single illicit page remains, we will immediately discuss what legal steps to take against Facebook Thailand.”
The head of Thailand’s broadcasting and telecommunications commission warns that social media outlets could be banned for hosting pictures of King Maha Vajiralongkorn shopping in a tank top. The pictures and tank top are worse than you think.
“They’re a pretty reputable, internationally renowned firm and we expect them to act with responsibility.”
The member for Kennedy expresses his hope Chanel will remove from the market a monogrammed boomerang that costs $1900 and was presumably designed to hunt dumb privilege.