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“When you wish to roll the pastry tart, lightly butter the form. Remove the pastry from the fridge, shape into a four-centimetre roll and slice into one-centimetre thick disks. Place the disks in a fish-scale pattern in the base of the tart form. Using your fingers, push the pastry down to create a smooth surface and up the sides to fill the tart shell. Alternatively, you could roll the pastry out to a three-millimetre-thick sheet and line the tart form with this.”
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Quotes
STUNTS I
“People of Australia will make up their own mind about Mr Bean. I call him Mr Bean because that’s exactly what he looks like – Mr Bean.”
The One Nation leader tacitly licenses the racist and Islamophobic abuse directed at Sam Dastyari by a group of rednecks. Or as she calls them, voters.
IDENTITY
“If Lidia Thorpe chose not to identify as Aboriginal, what would be left of this argument to vote for her?”
The columnist continues his obsession with the darkness of First Australians, commenting on the Greens candidate for Northcote. It’s almost as if he misses the Federal Court.
STUNTS II
“Channel Nine bought that bottle of champagne and asked me to do it – and a cheap bottle of champagne, I must say.”
The One Nation leader describes christening her bigot bus as part of the Queensland election. In fairness to Channel Nine, there isn’t a bottle of chuck on the market as cheap as her politics.
POLITICS
“Don’t let anyone tell you a transgender person can’t win, because we just did.”
The former journalist wins the Democratic primary in Virginia. She faced transphobic Republican Bob Marshall, who has run against gays, bathrooms and women seeking abortions without invasive ultrasounds. Roem ran against increased traffic.
STUNTS III
“Oh, come on. It was a loose hose, okay? I picked it up. I knew there was something wrong.”
The One Nation leader explains how her “Battler Bus” came to be broken down and hissing at a petrol station in central Queensland. Interestingly, the same line works to describe Malcolm Roberts.
CELEBRITY
“Someone is apparently trying to sell naked photos of me to my fans. Save your money, here it is for free. Everyday is Christmas!”
The musician posted a nude photograph of herself online after her privacy was violated by paparazzi. Sometimes, the world is gross.
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