May 29 – June 4, 2021

Gerry HarveyThe retail tycoon, who refused to repay $22 million in JobKeeper despite his profits doubling during the pandemic, rails against the Victorian government’s mental health support levy. Luckily overpriced whitegoods are a proven cure for depression.

Michael McCormackThe deputy prime minister brainstorms ways to encourage young people to get the Covid-19 vaccine. This remains the most thought-out proposal in the federal government’s rollout strategy.

Richard ColbeckThe minister for Aged Care Services suggests no resident in the 29 Victorian aged-care centres that are yet to receive any doses of the Covid-19 vaccine actually wanted to be vaccinated against the deadly virus that has killed 655 elderly people in aged-care homes across the state.

Michaelia CashThe attorney-general responds to the question, “Have you received empathy training?” during senate estimates. Her deftness in avoiding saying “I haven’t received empathy training” is matched only by her ability to manoeuvre a whiteboard.

Bruce McClintockThe barrister for Ben Roberts-Smith, who’s suing Nine newspapers for defamation over allegations he committed war crimes, explains why his client wiped his computer hard drive. With everything else going on, Roberts-Smith clearly didn’t want his eBay seller rating to take a hit too.

Jane HumeThe minister for Women’s Economic Security is asked about the 19 accusations of sexual misconduct against parliamentarians, their staff or “official establishments” reported in the wake of Brittany Higgins’ allegations. She should have been asked for her definition of  “unsafe”.