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Exclusive: National cabinet told hospital crisis could last six months
As overwhelmed hospital staff prepare to triage patients based on age, a new briefing to national cabinet says the strain on the health system will last well into next year.
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Gender
“There is still an attitude, a culture that excuses, justifies, ignores or condones gender inequality that drives, ultimately, violence against women.”
The prime minister addresses the National Summit on Women’s Safety. He’s proof you can turn up as a man at a feminist conference and still draw exclusively on personal experience.
Rules
“Caught a couple of magic waves ... all ridgy didgy, even under the current, rather oppressive regime.”
The former prime minister explains that he was acting within the rules after being photographed without a mask in Manly. The man really did dismantle a carbon price in pursuit of his endless summer.
Drugs
“What I didn’t know was that premier Gladys Berejiklian’s in a sprint while the rest of us are supposed to do some sort of egg and spoon thing.”
The Victorian premier vents his frustration at the division of Pfizer doses from Britain. Just a note to the premier: if there’s a spoon involved, it’s probably not a vaccine in your needle.
Politics
“I am on the side of the kids who are being kicked out of the classroom.”
The disgraced former Victorian Liberal leader and current Victorian Liberal leader makes his pitch for the state. School is as good a place as any to start for a man who looks as if he is the victim of a particularly spiteful wedgie.
Faith
“I am obligated to respect the decision of those members of the clergy who have a conscientious objection.”
The Catholic Archbishop of Hobart asks that priests who have refused to be vaccinated still be able to offer ministry in aged-care homes. Jesus was a fisher of men and who’s to say he didn’t use a dragnet.
Sport
“First he takes your legs … Then he takes your soul.”
The retired tennis star describes playing against Novak Djokovic. The world No. 1 will take anything, frankly, except the vaccine.
